Friday, August 29, 2008
its not that i'm NOT heterosexual... its that i'm not heterosexual for YOU!
i have been writing - incoherently and all over the place. i guess i just haven't been writing for 'display' as much as i usually do. its all been situation driven. contextual. conversational rather than in my usual navel gazing monologuous manner.
it seems i don't have much to say to myself these days. or the you that is me that is you, in any case.
but i'm working on it.
This thought broke free from
Solender's mind at 05:33 pm
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
I don't really lose anything...
I haven't Lost as much stuff as I've Walked Out on. I'm basically a
dead-beat owner. I could fill libraries with books, DVDs, CDs and games
I've left behind or loaned out, without a thought about ever getting
back.
Unfortunately, as non-materialistic as I like to pretend
that makes me, it is as nothing compared to what an Nth level consumer
I've become because of it. I must have purchased every single edition
of On The Road ever released at least twice... and I still don't actually have a copy right now.
This thought broke free from
Solender's mind at 02:35 am
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
Sunday, June 22, 2008
which is like happy for deep people.
This thought broke free from
Solender's mind at 05:21 am
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
the secret is.
that we all long for the feeling of a good heartbreak.
if only because it reminds us that we once loved.
and imagined we were loved.
This thought broke free from
Solender's mind at 05:16 am
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
i've been waiting here all night and finally the rain hit.
now i can curl up and know for sure that its worse out there than it is in here.
for once.
and all too briefly.
This thought broke free from
Solender's mind at 05:09 am
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
Monday, April 14, 2008
seven strands of conversation
i could explain to you the whole sordid tale of it, but i'm not sure i could do it any justice. i've been gone. you either knew that or you didn't. rather than bore you with the details, i've supplied several asynchronous strands of dialogue, half fragments of conversations you'll never hear in thier entirety.
hey, its better than some half baked excuse right?
This thought broke free from
Solender's mind at 06:24 pm
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
strand: poetry and impossible mathematics.
adjectives fail... i'd have to invent a whole new language to be able
to tell you how cute you are. some strange mutant hybrid of poetry and
impossible mathematics.
so, that's what i'm doing whenever
there's a lull in conversation - i'm reconstructing symbolism,
recomposing the very principles of communication, imagining that
somehow, somewhere, sometime i'll be the one who'll let you know how
beyond cute you are.
we don't exactly have a word for it yet... but i'm working on it.
This thought broke free from
Solender's mind at 06:22 pm
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
hey, i live in a constant state of forced fake amnesia. you don't have to tell me about drunken stupidity, i wrote the bloody book. luckily sales for "I, Mortified - the unofficial biography of a drunk" by [solender] have been very low.
sometimes getting together with your mates and giving someone a good send off is really all you can do. the irish were all about it. the maori and native americans too. some papua new guinea tribes had some really messed up death rituals which i wont get into, but boy, crazy.
the mono-culture we participate in most of the time has dumb rituals. we should invent some better ones.
This thought broke free from
Solender's mind at 06:16 pm
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
was i too harsh? i felt a bit harsh. sometimes there isn't nearly
enough distance between random thoughts and typing fingers. betwixt
things said and feelings hurt.
i am sorry.
This thought broke free from
Solender's mind at 05:07 pm
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
strand: comes with practice.
what is the implicit structure of your evening? what are its underlying
themes and quintessential properties? alcohol? dialogue? the usual
moments of panic as you blurt out something inappropriate in the front
of the wrong person? you really are the queen of that btw. but to be
fair you are also very quick with a follow-up cover. which i can only
assume comes with practice.
This thought broke free from
Solender's mind at 05:01 pm
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
