a stream of consciousness, becomes a river, becomes a lake, becomes a sea



This is the space above the calendar. Above days and months. Above such trivial concepts as today and tomorrow.




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"Only a couple of generations ago, we the people sang the songs and told the stories and generated our culture from the bottom up.

But now, more and more of our culture is spoon-fed to us top down by corporations, TV networks and ad agencies.

We must reclaim our culture. Start telling our own stories again. Singing our own songs. Producing our own meaning.

Creating our own cool..."

- Adbusters Blackspot Campaign




The Revolution will be
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As a total slave to opinion I have to put this link here:

Listed on BlogShares

But what the fuck do those guys know?

Absolutely fuckin nothing - that's what. This link makes my blog stronger for no other reason than I bothered to have it here.

Does that make this place any better? No - obviously not. I'm popular simply because I choose to be popular. I chose to make myself accessible to the masses.

But don't mistake my want of accessibility for respect...

...I still hate most of you more than you can imagine.





It's lonely down here. What purpose can a paragraph find at the nigh-bottom of this blog? Should I be humorous? Informative? Why am I here? I wish I was that other paragraph above the calendar. Oh the wonderful things I could do from up there...






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Monday, April 20, 2009
what to make if there is no mood?


light of the situation, perhaps?  gurney halleck said [mood is] "a thing for cattle and love play"; but I always had my suspicions about his association of the two.

i see writing as a vector - requiring both direction and magnitude.  without a prevailing mood we are but flotsam in the doldrums of creativity, ineffectually sculling circles with stunted intellectual paddles.

we need to be caught up in exhaltant tradewinds.  to be dragged under by treacherous currents of depression.  gale force anger.  a tsunami of paranoia.

all the genius in the world wont get you anywhere without the want for, or the need to get away from: 'something' (anything!).  to be drawn to, or pursued by: love; lust; fear or desperation.

what to make if there is no mood?  a pointless rant about moods themselves apparently.


This thought broke free from Solender's mind at 07:48 pm
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
(1) confirmed sightings

Sunday, April 12, 2009
sally


we don't fall in love
love falls in us
and it goes straight through
like yesterday's pasta aubergine
love is like fibre
it helps us pass time


This thought broke free from Solender's mind at 01:04 pm
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
(1) confirmed sightings

Tuesday, April 07, 2009
blasphemous


she says she just wants to kiss me, because her religion forbids it.

and i can't help but think...

...what else does her religion forbid?


This thought broke free from Solender's mind at 06:19 pm
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
Report a sighting

Sunday, March 22, 2009
x


my fingers dance
along this thought
across these keys
into a forest of wires
up through
code dappled leaves
to fly
a slashing, jagged
lightning path
charged and drawn

'cross maps
into area codes unknown

to pool once more
condensed to seep
from liquid crystal pores
as glow and bent letters
in form of words
that steal
through unlocked eyes
trailing down your spine
to dance again
as fingers and thought
against secret skin...



This thought broke free from Solender's mind at 07:59 pm
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
Report a sighting

Tuesday, September 30, 2008
hans christian redux


so i just saw this lame storybook thing on teevee about the ugly duckling and i thought: i'm not gonna read that shit to my kids!

i'm going to tell them the story of the hairy four legged duckling that got mercilessly teased by its peers, but then grew up into a wolf and ate all those bitches up, before savagely mauling its mentally retarded cub-napping parents to death.

yeah, i'm bored.


This thought broke free from Solender's mind at 11:39 pm
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
(2) confirmed sightings

Friday, September 26, 2008
this ever ending

why is it like this?
    a constance of pouring

i thought it would end
    that my heart would empty

and i would know peace

instead of this

ever ending

This thought broke free from Solender's mind at 01:12 pm
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
(1) confirmed sightings

late morning obituary

Rumour had it that Richard killed himself in September - a magnum decision, looking out over the ponderous Pacific.  And some twenty years later I couldn't believe it.

No one found the body until evening October, the stench incredible.  Like watermelon sugar, gone sour in the Californian sun.  And I still can't believe it.

Wasn't that just a moment before all of it became right?  When it all resolved in watermelon perfection.

What came after September '84 would have made all the difference, I think.  The path to here would have been worth the walk.  I think he would have enjoyed it.  And (inspecifically) this.

I wish he'd called at nine years old.  I wish he could call me now.

And yet how can I feel sorry for Richard?  He rode his own crest and crashed on that ponderous Pacific shore.

He saw sky and soul.

Burned all the maps to his body.

And made his own decision.

This thought broke free from Solender's mind at 04:15 am
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
(2) confirmed sightings

Friday, August 29, 2008
its not that i'm NOT heterosexual... its that i'm not heterosexual for YOU!

i have been writing - incoherently and all over the place.  i guess i just haven't been writing for 'display' as much as i usually do.  its all been situation driven.  contextual.  conversational rather than in my usual navel gazing monologuous manner.

it seems i don't have much to say to myself these days.  or the you that is me that is you, in any case.

but i'm working on it.




This thought broke free from Solender's mind at 05:33 pm
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
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Wednesday, June 25, 2008
I don't really lose anything...


I haven't Lost as much stuff as I've Walked Out on. I'm basically a dead-beat owner. I could fill libraries with books, DVDs, CDs and games I've left behind or loaned out, without a thought about ever getting back.

Unfortunately, as non-materialistic as I like to pretend that makes me, it is as nothing compared to what an Nth level consumer I've become because of it. I must have purchased every single edition of On The Road ever released at least twice... and I still don't actually have a copy right now.



This thought broke free from Solender's mind at 02:35 am
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
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Sunday, June 22, 2008
i am melancholy


which is like happy for deep people.


This thought broke free from Solender's mind at 05:21 am
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
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