Sunday, June 22, 2008
i've been waiting here all night and finally the rain hit.
now i can curl up and know for sure that its worse out there than it is in here.
for once.
and all too briefly.
This thought broke free from
Solender's mind at 05:09 am
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
Monday, April 14, 2008
seven strands of conversation
i could explain to you the whole sordid tale of it, but i'm not sure i could do it any justice. i've been gone. you either knew that or you didn't. rather than bore you with the details, i've supplied several asynchronous strands of dialogue, half fragments of conversations you'll never hear in thier entirety.
hey, its better than some half baked excuse right?
This thought broke free from
Solender's mind at 06:24 pm
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
strand: poetry and impossible mathematics.
adjectives fail... i'd have to invent a whole new language to be able
to tell you how cute you are. some strange mutant hybrid of poetry and
impossible mathematics.
so, that's what i'm doing whenever
there's a lull in conversation - i'm reconstructing symbolism,
recomposing the very principles of communication, imagining that
somehow, somewhere, sometime i'll be the one who'll let you know how
beyond cute you are.
we don't exactly have a word for it yet... but i'm working on it.
This thought broke free from
Solender's mind at 06:22 pm
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
hey, i live in a constant state of forced fake amnesia. you don't have to tell me about drunken stupidity, i wrote the bloody book. luckily sales for "I, Mortified - the unofficial biography of a drunk" by [solender] have been very low.
sometimes getting together with your mates and giving someone a good send off is really all you can do. the irish were all about it. the maori and native americans too. some papua new guinea tribes had some really messed up death rituals which i wont get into, but boy, crazy.
the mono-culture we participate in most of the time has dumb rituals. we should invent some better ones.
This thought broke free from
Solender's mind at 06:16 pm
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
was i too harsh? i felt a bit harsh. sometimes there isn't nearly
enough distance between random thoughts and typing fingers. betwixt
things said and feelings hurt.
i am sorry.
This thought broke free from
Solender's mind at 05:07 pm
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
strand: comes with practice.
what is the implicit structure of your evening? what are its underlying
themes and quintessential properties? alcohol? dialogue? the usual
moments of panic as you blurt out something inappropriate in the front
of the wrong person? you really are the queen of that btw. but to be
fair you are also very quick with a follow-up cover. which i can only
assume comes with practice.
This thought broke free from
Solender's mind at 05:01 pm
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
strand: half way to nowhere in particular.
there's an underused english term called "dawdle". it means to semi-aimlessly, almost indeliberately, saunter towards your destination. my mum used to tell me, in her finest catholic manner, that i would "dawdle to the pearly gates if [she] wasn't there to chase me". (and now i am totally missing her)
anyway, dawdling is what i was to doing on the bus. its what i always do on the bus and, i guess if truth be told, what i always do in life. don't mistake my contemplative expression for thoughtfulness. when you saw me i was probably most of the way to nowhere in particular.
This thought broke free from
Solender's mind at 04:55 pm
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
friday swings back in, as if nothing happened. shuffles off the working
week like a heavy jacket and orders a beer. "do you mind?" he quips
thumbing at the waiting barman, "i seem to have left my wallet in my
other metaphor", and so it starts...
one more day jinny jinx.
just one more. its always at times like this that, try as i might NOT
to think about the paradox of infinite divisibility, somehow it is all
i have in my head. damn it!
This thought broke free from
Solender's mind at 04:54 pm
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
i went and got x-rayed on saturday cos for some reason the pain became
more intense as i sobered up (weird huh?). i was all about the "spiral
fracture" but the doctor said i would probably have known, with the
screaming and the yelling and the passing out from pain, if that were
the case. was andy super-mad? does he need a hand with the
fixingness? did you tell him i was sorry for breaking his house?
This thought broke free from
Solender's mind at 04:49 pm
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
Monday, March 03, 2008
"[she] underlined a lot of things in this copy of Moby Dick, but I believe the word 'eskimo', underlined all by itself, is the key to understanding Heathers pain."
- A eulogy for Heather Duke, Heathers (1989)
i don't know much about cultural sensitivity - but I think 'eskimo' will be one of my favourite words forever. it's possible racist undertones and my constant over-use of it in mock emo poetry should not malign it's obvious aesthetic perfection.
eskimo
cold, stark and alone - i love you. be mine forever.
This thought broke free from
Solender's mind at 04:06 pm
It is still at large and should be considered Armed and Dangerous
